JOUR. Oh yes; I can read and write.
PROF. PHIL. With what would you like to begin? Shall I teach you
logic?
MR. JOUR. And what may this logic be?
PROF. PHIL. It is that which teaches us the three operations of the
mind.
MR. JOUR. What are they, these three operations of the mind?
PROF. PHIL. The first, the second, and the third. The first is to
conceive well by means of universals; the second, to judge well by
means of categories; and the third, to draw a conclusion aright by
means of the figures _Barbara, Celarent, Darii, Ferio, Baralipton_, &c.
MR. JOUR. Pooh! what repulsive words. This logic does not by any means
suit me. Teach me something more enlivening.
PROF. PHIL. Will you learn moral philosophy?
MR. JOUR. Moral philosophy?
PROF. PHIL. Yes.
MR. JOUR. What does it say, this moral philosophy?
PROF. PHIL. It treats of happiness, teaches men to moderate their
passions, and....
MR. JOUR. No, none of that. I am devilishly hot-tempered, and,
morality or no morality, I like to give full vent to my anger whenever
I have a mind to it.
PROF. PHIL. Would you like to learn physics?
MR. JOUR. And what have physics to say for themselves?
PROF. PHIL. Physics are that science which explains the principles of
natural things and the properties of bodies, which discourses of the
nature of the elements, of metals, minerals, stones, plants, and
animals; which teaches us the cause of all the meteors, the rainbow,
the _ignis fatuus_, comets, lightning, thunder, thunderbolts,
rain, snow, hail, wind, and whirlwinds.
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