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Collins, Wilkie, 1824-1889

"My Lady's Money"

' You wait for the bankers' answer, and bring it to me.
It's just possible that the name you're afraid to whisper may appear
in the letter. If it does, we've caught our man. Is _that_ forgery, Mr.
Muddlehead Moody? I'll tell you what--if I had lived to be your age, and
knew no more of the world than you do, I'd go and hang myself. Steady!
here's our charming friend with the milk. Remember your instructions,
and don't lose heart if my notion of the payment to the bankers comes
to nothing. I know what to do next, in that case--and, what's more, I'll
take all the risk and trouble on my own shoulders. Oh, Lord! I'm afraid
I shall be obliged to drink the milk, now it's come!"
With this apprehension in his mind, he advanced to relieve Isabel of the
jug that she carried.
"Here's a treat!" he burst out, with an affectation of joy, which was
completely belied by the expression of his dirty face. "Here's a kind
and dear young lady, to help an old man to a drink with her own pretty
hands." He paused, and looked at the milk very much as he might have
looked at a dose of physic. "Will anyone take a drink first?" he asked,
offering the jug piteously to Isabel and Moody. "You see, I'm not wed to
genuine milk; I'm used to chalk and water. I don't know what effect the
unadulterated cow might have on my poor old inside." He tasted the milk
with the greatest caution. "Upon my soul, this is too rich for me! The
unadulterated cow is a deal too strong to be drunk alone.


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