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Kilpatrick, Florence A. (Florence Antoinette), 1888-

"Our Elizabeth A Humour Novel"

She's just the sort of wife----'
[Illustration: 'Wot's 'orrible about it?']
'"Wife,"' I interrupted, '"marry"? What do you mean by those words,
girl? Do you think for one instant if all the females in Christendom
were to fall in love with me I would _marry_ any one of them! No, a
thousand times, no. I repeat I will never, _never_ marry.'
'I 'eard yer,' said Elizabeth, 'and do you sit there and mean to tell
me that you're going to break a gentle woman's 'eart deliberate?'
The imputation caused me to shudder from head to foot. 'No, no,
Elizabeth. If I have unwittingly caused the lady pain I am deeply
remorseful. But she must, as soon as possible, be disillusioned.'
'Dish-who?' said Elizabeth. In this peculiar and baffling way does
she express herself. It makes a sustained conversation extremely
difficult and, at times, almost impossible.
'She must be brought to dislike me, I mean. In this matter I must ask
you to help me.' I took a ten-shilling note from my pocket. 'If, from
time to time, you will talk to Miss Warrington of my many faults--you
can invent what you like----'
'Shan't need to invent much in the way o' faults,' put in the monstrous
girl. 'But it's my belief she likes you for 'em. Some women are made
like that. Anyway,' she handed me back the note which I had
endeavoured to press into her warm, moist palm. 'I'm not wantin' this.


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