The endless
strife itself strengthens the bonds, in that it saps the strength.
He deteriorated. This married life, wearing in every way, together
with the hard work, resulted in his not being equal to more than
just the necessities of the day. His initiative and will became
proportionately deadened.
A strange stagnation developed itself: he had hallucinations,
visions; he saw himself in them--his father! his mother! all the
pictures were of a menacing description.
At night he dreamed the most frightful things: his unbridled
fancy, his unoccupied creative power, took revenge, and all this
weakened him. He looked with admiration at his wife's robust
health: she had the physique of a wild beast. But at times their
quarrels, their reconciliations, brought revelations with them: he
could perceive her sorrows as well. She did not complain, she did
not say a word, she could not do so; but at times she wept and
gave way as only the most despairing can. Her nature was powerful,
and the struggle of her love beyond belief. The beauty of the
fulness of life was there, even when she was most repulsive.
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