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James, William, 1842-1910

"Varieties of Religious Experience, a Study in Human Nature"

The throb of emotion was
so violent that I could barely tell the boys to pass on and not
wait for me. I then sat down on a stone, unable to stand any
longer, and my eyes overflowed with tears. I thanked God that in
the course of my life he had taught me to know him, that he
sustained my life and took pity both on the insignificant
creature and on the sinner that I was. I begged him ardently
that my life might be consecrated to the doing of his will. I
felt his reply, which was that I should do his will from day to
day in humility and poverty, leaving him, the Almighty God, to be
judge of whether I should some time be called to bear witness
more conspicuously. Then, slowly, the ecstasy left my heart;
that is, I felt that God had withdrawn the communion which he had
granted, and I was able to walk on, but very slowly, so strongly
was I still possessed by the interior emotion. Besides, I had
wept uninterruptedly for several minutes, my eyes were swollen,
and I did not wish my companions to see me. The state of ecstasy
may have lasted four or five minutes, although it seemed at the
time to last much longer.


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