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James, William, 1842-1910

"Varieties of Religious Experience, a Study in Human Nature"

Reduced to absolute want, he one day went out of the
house with an intention to put an end to his life, but wandering
awhile almost unconsciously, he came to the brow of an eminence
which overlooked what were lately his estates. Here he sat down,
and remained fixed in thought a number of hours, at the end of
which he sprang from the ground with a vehement, exulting
emotion. He had formed his resolution, which was, that all these
estates should be his again; he had formed his plan, too, which
he instantly began to execute. He walked hastily forward,
determined to seize the first opportunity, of however humble a
kind, to gain any money, though it were ever so despicable a
trifle, and resolved absolutely not to spend, if he could help
it, a farthing of whatever he might obtain. The first thing that
drew his attention was a heap of coals shot out of carts on the
pavement before a house. He offered himself to shovel or wheel
them into the place where they were to be laid, and was employed.
He received a few pence for the labor; and then, in pursuance of
the saving part of his plan requested some small gratuity of meat
and drink, which was given <176> him.


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