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Gaskell, Elizabeth Cleghorn, 1810-1865

"ë — Volume 1"

"
* * * * *
The nervous disturbance, which is stated to have troubled her while she
was at Miss W---'s, seems to have begun to distress her about this time;
at least, she herself speaks of her irritable condition, which was
certainly only a temporary ailment.
"You have been very kind to me of late, and have spared me all those
little sallies of ridicule, which, owing to my miserable and wretched
touchiness of character, used formerly to make me wince, as if I had been
touched with a hot iron; things that nobody else cares for, enter into my
mind and rankle there like venom. I know these feelings are absurd, and
therefore I try to hide them, but they only sting the deeper for
concealment."
Compare this state of mind with the gentle resignation with which she had
submitted to be put aside as useless, or told of her ugliness by her
school-fellows, only three years before.
"My life since I saw you has passed as monotonously and unbroken as ever;
nothing but teach, teach, teach, from morning till night. The greatest
variety I ever have is afforded by a letter from you, or by meeting with
a pleasant new book. The 'Life of Oberlin,' and 'Leigh Richmond's
Domestic Portraiture,' are the last of this description. The latter work
strongly attracted and strangely fascinated my attention.


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