I hated to
talk with him--hated to look at him; though as I was not certain that
there was substantial reason for such a dislike, and thought it absurd
to trust to mere instinct, I both concealed and repressed the feeling
as much as I could; and, on all occasions, treated him with as much
civility as I was mistress of. I was struck with Mary's expression of
a similar feeling at first sight; she said, when we left him, 'That is
a hideous man, Charlotte!' I thought 'He is indeed.'"
CHAPTER X
Early in March, 1841, Miss Bronte obtained her second and last situation
as a governess. This time she esteemed herself fortunate in becoming a
member of a kind-hearted and friendly household. The master of it, she
especially regarded as a valuable friend, whose advice helped to guide
her in one very important step of her life. But as her definite
acquirements were few, she had to eke them out by employing her leisure
time in needlework; and altogether her position was that of "bonne" or
nursery governess, liable to repeated and never-ending calls upon her
time. This description of uncertain, yet perpetual employment, subject
to the exercise of another person's will at all hours of the day, was
peculiarly trying to one whose life at home had been full of abundant
leisure.
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