Heger. They offered to be present, with a view to
maintain order among the unruly Belgian girls; but she declined this,
saying that she would rather enforce discipline by her own manner and
character than be indebted for obedience to the presence of a _gendarme_.
She ruled over a new schoolroom, which had been built on the space in the
play-ground adjoining the house. Over that First Class she was
_surveillante_ at all hours; and henceforward she was called
_Mademoiselle_ Charlotte by M. Heger's orders. She continued her own
studies, principally attending to German, and to Literature; and every
Sunday she went alone to the German and English chapels. Her walks too
were solitary, and principally taken in the allee defendue, where she was
secure from intrusion. This solitude was a perilous luxury to one of her
temperament; so liable as she was to morbid and acute mental suffering.
On March 6th, 1843, she writes thus:--
"I am settled by this time, of course. I am not too much overloaded
with occupation; and besides teaching English, I have time to improve
myself in German. I ought to consider myself well off, and to be
thankful for my good fortunes. I hope I am thankful; and if I could
always keep up my spirits and never feel lonely, or long for
companionship, or friendship, or whatever they call it, I should do
very well.
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