On the 23rd of the month she writes as follows:--
"Every one asks me what I am going to do, now that I am returned home;
and every one seems to expect that I should immediately commence a
school. In truth, it is what I should wish to do. I desire it above all
things. I have sufficient money for the undertaking, and I hope now
sufficient qualifications to give me a fair chance of success; yet I
cannot yet permit myself to enter upon life--to touch the object which
seems now within my reach, and which I have been so long straining to
attain. You will ask me why? It is on papa's account; he is now, as you
know, getting old, and it grieves me to tell you that he is losing his
sight. I have felt for some months that I ought not to be away from him;
and I feel now that it would be too selfish to leave him (at least, as
long as Branwell and Anne are absent), in order to pursue selfish
interests of my own. With the help of God, I will try to deny myself in
this matter, and to wait.
"I suffered much before I left Brussels. I think, however long I live, I
shall not forget what the parting with M. Heger cost me. It grieved me
so much to grieve him who has been so true, kind, and disinterested a
friend. At parting he gave me a kind of diploma certifying my abilities
as a teacher, sealed with the seal of the Athenee Royal, of which he is
professor.
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