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Oppenheim, E. Phillips (Edward Phillips), 1866-1946

"An Amiable Charlatan"

Look at him, I ask you! A baby can see that he hasn't the
brains of a chicken. Yet there he stands--Joseph H. Bundercombe, of
Bundercombe's Reapers, with eight million dollars' worth of stock to his
name!"
I saw Reggie's eyes go up to the ceiling and I knew he was dividing eight
million dollars by five. An expression almost of reverence passed into his
face as he achieved the result. We none of us felt the slightest
inclination to interrupt. Mrs. Bundercombe's long, skinny forefinger drew
a little nearer to her victim. Then she coughed--the short, dry cough of
the professional speaker--and continued:
"Wouldn't you believe that was success enough for any reasonable mortal?
Wouldn't you say that, with a wife holding an honored and great position
in the State, and his daughter by his side, he'd settle down out there and
live a respectable, decent life? Not he! First of all he wants to travel.
"What does he do, then, but take up what he calls a hobby! He buys and
gloats over every silly detective story that was ever written; practises
disguises and making himself up, as he calls it; takes lessons in
conjuring; haunts the police courts; consorts with criminals--in short,
behaves like a great overgrown child in his own native city, where the
name of Bundercombe--from the feminine standpoint--realizes everything
that stands for freedom and greatness.


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