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Oppenheim, E. Phillips (Edward Phillips), 1866-1946

"An Amiable Charlatan"

She walked across to
the table at which Mr. Bundercombe was seated. Eve and I both turned in
our places to watch.
"Poor daddy!" Eve murmured under her breath. "Why couldn't he have chosen
a smaller restaurant. He is going to catch it now!"
"I think I'll back your father," I observed. "He is quite at his best this
morning."
The exact words that passed between Mr. Bundercombe and his wife we, alas!
never knew. She turned her left shoulder pointedly toward the young woman,
whom she had designated as a hussy, and talked steadily for about a minute
and a half at Mr. Bundercombe. The history of what followed was reflected
in that gentleman's expressive face. He appeared to listen, at first in
amazement, afterward in annoyance, and finally in downright anger. When at
last he spoke we heard the words distinctly.
"Madam," he said, "I don't know who you are, and I object to being
addressed in a public place by ladies who are strangers to me. Be so good
as to return to your seat. You are mistaking me for some one else. My name
is Joseph H. Parker."
For a lady who had won renown upon the platform as a debater, Mrs.
Bundercombe seemed afflicted with considerable difficulty in framing a
suitable reply; and while she was still a little incoherent Mr.


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