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Oppenheim, E. Phillips (Edward Phillips), 1866-1946

"An Amiable Charlatan"

Delaporte, "Mr. Cheape and Captain
Bannister, I have suggested this conference because I believe in settling
these affairs myself and not leaving everything to lawyers--no disrespect
to present company. I have made an idiot of myself and I am ready to pay--
a certain amount."
Mr. Cheape rose to his feet. He was sitting in front of a writing desk,
with a clean sheet of paper in front of him, as though prepared to take
notes of the proceedings.
"So that there may be no possible misunderstanding," he intervened, "my
clients will take not a penny less than the five thousand pounds
mentioned."
"And I," Mr. Bundercombe declared sadly but very firmly, "will not give a
penny more than four thousand pounds."
Mr. Cheape shrugged his shoulders as though to intimate that the
conference was at an end. Captain Bannister made a few remarks to the
effect that if he had not been a moderate man, and willing to conduct the
affair in a gentlemanly manner, he should have asked for ten thousand.
Mrs. Delaporte alluded to five thousand pounds as though the amount
represented the outcome of a day's shopping. It was astonishing how little
they seemed to regard the value of money!
"Now," Mr. Bundercombe went on, "if I've brought you all together here on
false pretenses, I am sorry.


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