Morally we are responsible for
what we ourselves have willed, but socially, our happiness and
unhappiness depend on causes outside our will. Religion answers--
"Mystery, obscurity, submission, faith. Do your duty; leave the rest to
God."
March 16, 1881.--A wretched night. A melancholy morning.... The two
stand-bys of the doctor, digitalis and bromide, seem to have lost their
power over me. Wearily and painfully I watch the tedious progress of my
own decay. What efforts to keep one's self from dying! I am worn out
with the struggle.
Useless and incessant struggle is a humiliation to one's manhood. The
lion finds the gnat the most intolerable of his foes. The natural man
feels the same. But the spiritual man must learn the lesson of
gentleness and long-suffering. The inevitable is the will of God. We
might have preferred something else, but it is our business to accept
the lot assigned us.... One thing only is necessary--
"Garde en mon coeur la foi dans ta volonte sainte,
Et de moi fais, o Dieu, tout ce que tu voudras."
_Later_.--One of my students has just brought me a sympathetic message
from my class. My sister sends me a pot of azaleas, rich in flowers and
buds;----sends roses and violets: every one spoils me, which proves that
I am ill.
March 19, 1881.
Pages:
635
636
637
638
639
640
641
642
643
644
645
646
647
648
649
650
651
652
653
654
655
656
657
658
659