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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Cobwebs from an Empty Skull"




XXIV.

A man carrying a sack of corn up a high ladder propped against a wall,
had nearly reached the top, when a powerful hog passing that way leant
against the bottom to scratch its hide.
"I wish," said the man, speaking down the ladder, "you would make
that operation as brief as possible; and when I come down I will
reward you by rearing a fresh ladder especially for you."
"This one is quite good enough for a hog," was the reply; "but I am
curious to know if you will keep your promise, so I'll just amuse
myself until you come down."
And taking the bottom rung in his mouth, he moved off, away from the
wall. A moment later he had all the loose corn he could garner, but he
never got that other ladder.
MORAL.--An ace and four kings is as good a hand as one can hold in
draw-poker.


XXV.

A young cock and a hen were speaking of the size of eggs. Said the
cock:
"I once laid an egg--"
"Oh, you did!" interrupted the hen, with a derisive cackle. "Pray how
did you manage it?"
The cock felt injured in his self-esteem, and, turning his back upon
the hen, addressed himself to a brood of young chickens.
"I once laid an egg--"
The chickens chirped incredulously, and passed on. The insulted bird
reddened in the wattles with indignation, and strutting up to the
patriarch of the entire barn-yard, repeated his assertion.


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