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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Cobwebs from an Empty Skull"

"
She lapped her clinging tendrils about his wasted shanks, and in six
months had mantled him in green.
"It is now time," said the devotee, a year later, "for me to fulfil
the remainder of my religious vow. I must put in a few seasons of
howling and leaping. You have been very good, but I no longer require
your gentle ministrations."
"But I require yours," replied the vine; "you have become a second
nature to me. Let others indulge in the delights of gymnastic worship;
you and I will 'surfer and be strong'--respectively."
The devotee muttered something about the division of labour, and his
bones are still pointed out to the pilgrim.


XCVI.

A fox seeing a swan afloat, called out:
"What ship is that? I wish to take passage by your line."
"Got a ticket?" inquired the fowl.
"No; I'll make it all right with the company, though."
So the swan moored alongside, and he embarked,--deck passage. When
they were well off shore the fox intimated that dinner would be
agreeable.
"I would advise you not to try the ship's provisions," said the bird;
"we have only salt meat on board. Beware the scurvy!"
"You are quite right," replied the passenger; "I'll see if I can stay
my stomach with the foremast."
So saying he bit off her neck, and she immediately capsizing, he was
drowned.


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