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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Cobwebs from an Empty Skull"


MORAL--highly so, but not instructive.


XCVII.

A monkey finding a heap of cocoa-nuts, gnawed into one, then dropped
it, gagging hideously.
"Now, this is what _I_ call perfectly disgusting!" said he: "I can
never leave anything lying about but some one comes along and puts a
quantity of nasty milk into it!"
A cat just then happening to pass that way began rolling the
cocoa-nuts about with her paw.
"Yeow!" she exclaimed; "it is enough to vex the soul of a cast-iron
dog! Whenever I set out any milk to cool, somebody comes and seals it
up tight as a drum!"
Then perceiving one another, and each thinking the other the offender,
these enraged animals contended, and wrought a mutual extermination.
Whereby two worthy consumers were lost to society, and a quantity of
excellent food had to be given to the poor.


XCVIII.

A mouse who had overturned an earthern jar was discovered by a cat,
who entered from an adjoining room and began to upbraid him in the
harshest and most threatening manner.
"You little wretch!" said she, "how dare you knock over that valuable
urn? If it had been filled with hot water, and I had been lying before
it asleep, I should have been scalded to death."
"If it had been full of water," pleaded the mouse, "it would not have
upset.


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