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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Cobwebs from an Empty Skull"

"A miserable old shanty like that,
without stables, grounds, or any modern conveniences!"
"Pay!" said the snail, contemptuously; "I'd like to see you get a
semi-detatched villa like this at a nominal rate!"
"Why don't you let your upper apartments to a respectable single
party?" urged the slug.
The answer is not recorded.


CXIII.

A hare, pursued by a dog, sought sanctuary in the den of a wolf. It
being after business hours, the latter was at home to him.
"Ah!" panted the hare; "how very fortunate! I feel quite safe here,
for you dislike dogs quite as much as I do."
"Your security, my small friend," replied the wolf, "depends not upon
those points in which you and I agree, but upon those in which I and
the dog differ."
"Then you mean to eat me?" inquired the timorous puss.
"No-o-o," drawled the wolf, reflectively, "I should not like to
promise _that_; I mean to eat a part of you. There may be a tuft of
fur, and a toe-nail or two, left for you to go on with. I am hungry,
but I am not hoggish."
"The distinction is too fine for me," said the hare, scratching her
head.
"That, my friend, is because you have not made a practice of
hare-splitting. I have."


CXIV.

"Oyster at home?" inquired a monkey, rapping at the closed shell.


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