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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Cobwebs from an Empty Skull"

"
To this proposition the negro readily assented. They cast lots: the
negro cast lots of stones, and the ostrich cast lots of feathers. Then
the former went about his business, which consisted of skinning the
bird.
MORAL.--There is nothing like the arbitrament of chance. That form of
it known as _trile-bi-joorie_ is perhaps as good as any.


CXX.

An author who had wrought a book of fables (the merit whereof
transcended expression) was peacefully sleeping atop of the modest
eminence to which he had attained, when he was rudely awakened by a
throng of critics, emitting adverse judgment upon the tales he had
builded.
[Illustration]
"Apparently," said he, "I have been guilty of some small grains of
unconsidered wisdom, and the same have proven a bitterness to these
excellent folk, the which they will not abide. Ah, well! those who
produce the Strasburg _pate_ and the feather-pillow are prone to
regard _us_ as rival creators. I presume it is in course of nature for
him who grows the pen to censure the manner of its use."
So speaking, he executed a smile a hand's-breath in extent, and
resumed his airy dream of dropping ducats.


CXXI.

For many years an opossum had anointed his tail with bear's oil, but
it remained stubbornly bald-headed.


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