F.--I am not familiar with it.
D.--It does not encourage familiarity. Paralysis of the thoracic duct
enables the patient to accept as many invitations to dinner as he can
secure, without danger of spoiling his appetite.
F.--But how long does his appetite last?
D.--That depends. Always a trifle longer than he does.
F.--The portion that survives him--?
D.--Goes to swell the Mighty Gastric Passion which lurks darkly
Outside, yawning to swallow up material creation!
F.--Pitch it a biscuit.
* * * * *
FOOL.--You attend a patient. He gets well. Good! How do you tell
whether his recovery is because of your treatment or in spite of it?
DOCTOR.--I never do tell.
F.--I mean how do you know?
D.--I take the opinion of a person interested in the question: I ask a
fool.
F.--How does the patient know?
D.--The fool asks me.
F.--Amiable instructor! How shall I reward thee?
D.--Eat a cucumber cut up in shilling claret.
* * * * *
DOCTOR.--The relation between a patient and his disease is the same as
that which obtains between the two wooden weather-prophets of a Dutch
clock. When the disease goes off, the patient goes on; when the
disease goes on, the patient goes off.
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