FOOL.--A pauper conceit. Their relations, then, are not of the most
cordial character.
D.--One's relations--except the poorer sort--seldom are.
F.--My tympanum is smitten with pleasant peltings of wisdom! I 'll lay
you ten to one you cannot tell me the present condition of your last
patient.
D.--Done!
F.--You have won the wager.
FOOL.--I once read the report of an actual conversation upon a
scientific subject between a fool and a physician.
DOCTOR.--Indeed! That sort of conversation commonly takes place
between fools only.
F.--The reporter had chosen to confound orthography: he spelt fool
"phool," and physician "fysician." What the fool said was, therefore,
preceded by "PH;" the remarks of the physician were indicated by the
letter "F."
D.--This must have been very confusing.
F.--It was. But no one discovered that any liberties had been taken
with orthography.
D.--You tumour!
* * * * *
FOOL.--Suppose you had amongst your menials an ailing oyster?
DOCTOR.--Oysters do not ail.
F.--I have heard that the pearl is the result of a disease.
D.--Whether a functional derangement producing a valuable gem can be
properly termed, or treated as, a disease, is open to honest doubt.
F.--Then in the case supposed you would not favour excision of the
abnormal part?
D.
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