Alas, she said she never could be mine!
My Uncle was a Baronet, and wealthy,
But old, ill-tempered, deaf, and plagued with gout;
I was his heir, a pauper young and healthy;
My Uncle--need I say?--had cut me out.
I swore--and need I say the words I muttered?
Sir HECTOR married KATE, and changed his will.
Dry bread for me! For her the tea-cake buttered.
I starved--and, need I say, I'm starving still!
* * * * *
"A CARPET KNIGHT"--Sir BLUNDELL MAPLE. Likewise that Sir B.M. is
"a Knight of the Round Table." [N.B. Great rush to let off these.
Contribution-Box joke-full of 'em. Impossible, therefore, to decide
"who spoke first." Reward of Merit still in hand.]
* * * * *
SUGGESTION.--The Music-and-Hartland Committee will permit the
performance of brief "Sketches" in the Music Halls. Wouldn't
"Harmonies" by our own WHISTLER be more appropriate?
* * * * *
[Illustration: AN EARNEST POLITICIAN.
"I'M VERY GLAD SIR PERCY PLANTAGENET WAS RETURNED, MISS!"
"WHY,--ARE YOU A PRIMROSE DAME?"
"NO, MISS,--BUT MY 'USBAND IS!"]
* * * * *
TIP TO TAX-COLLECTORS.
(_AFTER HERRICK'S "COUNSEL TO GIRLS."_)
A SONG OF THE EXCHEQUER.
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