At lightning-speed we see thee glide,
(With malice every narrow _shave_ meant),
And charge thine elders far and wide,
Or stretch them prone upon the pavement.
Round corners sharp thou lov'st to dart,
(Thou skating imp! Thou rolling joker!)
And hit in some projecting part
The lawyer staid, or solemn broker.
Does pity never mar thy glee,
When upright men with torture double?
Oh, let our one petition be
That thou may'st come to grievous trouble!
* * * * *
[Illustration: A FATAL OBJECTION.
"MOTHER, ARE THE WONDERGILTS VERY RICH?"
"YES, SILVIA, VERY."
"MOTHER, I HOPE WE SHALL NEVER BE RICH?"
"WHY, DARLING?"
"IT MUST BE SO VERY EXPENSIVE!"]
* * * * *
ADVERTISING IN EXCELSIS.
SCENE--_Interior of the Universal Advertisement Stations
Company's Offices. Managing Director discovered presiding
over a large staff of Clerks. Enter Possible Customer._
_Possible Customer._ I see from the papers that it is proposed to turn
the Suez Canal to account by erecting hoardings--have you anything to
do with it?
_Managing Director._ No, Sir; but we do a very large cosmopolitan
business of the same sort. Have you anything to advertise?
_Pos. Cus._ Well, yes--several things.
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