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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, August 27, 1892"

For instance, I am bringing out
a new sort of Beer. Can you recommend me good stations for that?
_Man. Dir._ Certainly, Sir. We have contracted for the whole of the
best positions in the Desert of Sahara. If you get out a good poster
in Arabic, it should be the means of furthering the trade amongst the
Arabs.
_Pos. Cus._ Thanks. Then I have a fresh Pill. What about that?
_Man. Dir._ Well, Sir, pills (excuse the pleasantry) are rather a drug
in the market; but I think we might try it amongst the Esquimaux.
We have some capital crossroads in the Arctic Regions, and a really
commanding position at the North Pole.
_Pos. Cus._ What can I do with a newly-patented Disinfectant?
_Man. Dir._ We have the Spire of Cologne Cathedral, and both sides of
the Bridge of Sighs; in fact, if you like to push the sale in
Venice, we would offer you the front of the Doge's Palace on the most
advantageous terms.
_Pos. Cus._ Then I have an Everlasting Boot.
_Man. Dir._ I must confess, Sir, that boots (you will excuse the
pleasantry) are rather worn out; but perhaps the Himalayas (where we
have all the summits vacant) might suit your purpose.
_Pos. Cus._ Well, I will give your suggestions my best consideration.
_Man. Dir._ (_anxious to trade_). Can't I tempt you, Sir, with a
million bills or so? We have all the best Royal Palaces in Europe, and
the most frequented of the Indian Temples.


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